I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
