my soul wont recognize me after tonight
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
