I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Did I show you my penis last night?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize