she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
