My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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