i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
