I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
