so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
