sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize