sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
