we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
