he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
