Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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