Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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