im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
