Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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