dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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