it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
