he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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