...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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