"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dignity is for republicans.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
