grandma shit on top of the toilet
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
