wrigley field is MILF paradise
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
