1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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