I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize