You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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