He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
