I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize