You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
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The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box