Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"

(1-936): View more from Texas

I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...

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(936): you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while" (1-936): I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day... http://tfl.nu/1f15

Replies (19) Good night (10255) Bad night (1045)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more

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(919): Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more http://tfl.nu/wtn6

Replies (18) Good night (1570) Bad night (5105)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...

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(603): hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1... http://tfl.nu/ehgf

Replies (21) Good night (8717) Bad night (1276)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in

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(201): On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in http://tfl.nu/9hap

Replies (8) Good night (3861) Bad night (1023)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.

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(781): My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays. http://tfl.nu/1wl2

Replies (3) Good night (4455) Bad night (937)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.

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(205): I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick. http://tfl.nu/9o5a

Replies (5) Good night (1791) Bad night (724)
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(914): View more from New York

The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.

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(914): The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands. http://tfl.nu/vf34

Replies (5) Good night (3027) Bad night (652)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.

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(404): Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams. http://tfl.nu/pssg

Replies (4) Good night (1141) Bad night (669)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ur mom makes the best bacon

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE

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(570): ur mom makes the best bacon (1-570): WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE http://tfl.nu/0ryx

Replies (14) Good night (3900) Bad night (790)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.

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(215): I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets. http://tfl.nu/wd0k

Replies (11) Good night (1681) Bad night (970)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

Um, OK. WTF?

(410): View more from Maryland

The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.

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(410): Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy. (1-410): Um, OK. WTF? (410): The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times. http://tfl.nu/4f6p

Replies (24) Good night (2740) Bad night (596)
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(407): View more from Florida

You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.

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(407): You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend. http://tfl.nu/k9ll

Replies (2) Good night (1045) Bad night (328)
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(618): View more from Illinois

You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?

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(618): You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming? http://tfl.nu/vj0c

Replies (3) Good night (626) Bad night (869)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink

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(218): my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink http://tfl.nu/6ob7

Replies (4) Good night (402) Bad night (648)
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(858): View more from California

2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.

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(858): 2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass. http://tfl.nu/03qu

Replies (3) Good night (207) Bad night (295)

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