Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you

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(803): I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you http://tfl.nu/rx95

Replies (11) Good night (1245) Bad night (777)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.

(917): View more from New York City

Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.

(812): View more from Indiana

Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.

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(812): Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background. (917): Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex. (812): Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds. http://tfl.nu/5x1m

Replies (32) Good night (528) Bad night (1760)
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(540): View more from Virginia

that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen

(703): View more from Virginia

i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid

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(540): that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen (703): i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid http://tfl.nu/ez4n

Replies (8) Good night (1412) Bad night (680)
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(323): View more from California

Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.

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(323): Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/rf3y

Replies (43) Good night (3979) Bad night (771)
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(518): View more from New York

Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.

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(518): Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower. http://tfl.nu/xf7t

Replies (17) Good night (4835) Bad night (734)
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(727): View more from Florida

how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

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(727): how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian? http://tfl.nu/oazh

Replies (42) Good night (10329) Bad night (1258)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it

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(301): I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it http://tfl.nu/ek0f

Replies (7) Good night (3312) Bad night (877)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.

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(605): and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg. http://tfl.nu/8u14

Replies (10) Good night (3889) Bad night (940)
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(678): View more from Georgia

You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"

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(678): You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed" http://tfl.nu/kcte

Replies (7) Good night (2261) Bad night (574)
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(509): View more from Washington

This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.

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(509): This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck. http://tfl.nu/vrqe

Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (1524)
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(914): View more from New York

Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought

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(914): Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought http://tfl.nu/0bwp

Replies (9) Good night (1375) Bad night (568)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off

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(318): I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off http://tfl.nu/iq1g

Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (419)
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(773): View more from Illinois

okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.

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(773): okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis. http://tfl.nu/pm2x

Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (747)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.

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(262): In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise. http://tfl.nu/9a8z

Replies (5) Good night (466) Bad night (476)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.

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(321): Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning. http://tfl.nu/diz8

Replies (2) Good night (596) Bad night (237)

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