I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.