Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(979): View more from Texas

I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed

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(979): I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed http://tfl.nu/k1m0

Replies (19) Good night (4706) Bad night (625)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.

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(803): I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out. http://tfl.nu/rwiz

Replies (10) Good night (768) Bad night (3788)
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(515): View more from Iowa

On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

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(515): On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it. http://tfl.nu/mvhu

Replies (12) Good night (6964) Bad night (1209)
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(650): View more from California

an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.

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(650): an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty. http://tfl.nu/vy3j

Replies (81) Good night (10316) Bad night (2910)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself

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(204): Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself http://tfl.nu/03x0

Replies (9) Good night (1044) Bad night (3701)
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(206): View more from Washington

Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.

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(206): Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit. http://tfl.nu/8fs8

Replies (9) Good night (4084) Bad night (707)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS

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(606): VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS http://tfl.nu/8cgs

Replies (3) Good night (2398) Bad night (703)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.

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(647): Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face. http://tfl.nu/boco

Replies (10) Good night (2099) Bad night (848)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair

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(262): I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair http://tfl.nu/3k67

Replies (3) Good night (987) Bad night (663)
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(44): View more from United Kingdom

You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.

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(44): You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday. http://tfl.nu/tfp1

Replies (3) Good night (1186) Bad night (498)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.

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(306): You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons. http://tfl.nu/ly4h

Replies (4) Good night (1360) Bad night (758)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.

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(617): Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present. http://tfl.nu/s10t

Replies (4) Good night (1583) Bad night (477)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver

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(413): Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver http://tfl.nu/ysq3

Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (254)
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(618): View more from Illinois

So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.

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(618): So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers. http://tfl.nu/djxo

Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (723)
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(805): View more from California

Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come

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(805): Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come http://tfl.nu/u9o4

Replies (1) Good night (259) Bad night (533)

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