with your own penis?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
