I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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