Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
