you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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