marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
