I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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