So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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