Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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