You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
