please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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