we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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