last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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