But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
false alarm. still invincible.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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