Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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