Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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