She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
