I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
