well I can't set my house on fire every night
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We named our party play list daddy issues
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize