You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
