tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize