After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
