Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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