Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
