i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
