question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
