Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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