Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
