Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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