i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
